She was a participant at our yoga camp and a yoga student of my colleague.
She was in her mid-50s, a mother of two children, married, and a successful woman at work.
On the second day of yoga camp, I noticed that she had some issues with her right leg. She was dragging it and limping and she couldn’t move it properly. “What is the matter with your leg?” I asked during our lunch break.
“It’s been painful for the last four to six months. I can’t step on it, but if I do, it’s painful. It’s quite difficult to walk, to move around without feeling any pain. I have had clinical examinations and there are no physical reasons for having pain or immobility,” she said.
On the third day of the yoga camp, I offered her a healing session for her painful leg. I sensed that it could help her somehow. After a day of hesitation, despite of not knowing much about my work, she agreed to try a session.
As she entered a breathwork induced trans-state, I guided her to connect to the sensations in the painful leg. In order to help her to get in touch with the root of the possible psychosomatic manifestation, I guided her through time-regression, back to the starting point of these symptoms, and what was happening in her life around that time.
She struggled with her marriage. She had been thinking about separating from her husband for about six months. She wanted to move out but was too scared. She was afraid to hurt her husband by leaving him and she was afraid to cause a dramatic change in her children’s life as well. So, she stayed and kept revisiting the idea of moving out but could not make the decision of ‘yes, I move on’ or ‘no, I stay and make the best of the situation’. She had spent the past few months living with this internal struggle.
She felt stuck, confused, in a state of emotional struggle and in pain due to her inability to make up her mind. Financially, she was in a position to rent a place on her own and move into it with her daughter. At those times when she allowed herself to entertain the idea of a future without her husband, she saw herself as being happy and relieved, but also felt guilty about leaving him.
After months of being in this struggle, the physical pain and immobility showed its first signs. She could not make the internal move, and externally, she could not move as much either because of the pain. She stayed stuck in the situation, and her internal state stated to manifest externally through pain, a lack of movement, less flexibility, and limited physical capacity.
“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to navigate between caring for myself and caring for others,” she said.
She couldn’t stop crying during the healing session as the mental, emotional and physical links unfolded in front of her internal eye through images and visions. As the session came to its conclusion, I gave her time to rest and reflect on the experience. She needed about another twenty-four hours to understand the meaning and message of the information she received.
I heard from her a few months later at another weekend at the yoga camp. She had moved on, rented a flat, and lived there with her daughter. She couldn’t stay in the same struggle after understanding her internal reality. The decision had to be made. She couldn’t stay any longer and continue to cause herself pain. As she made these changes, the physical symptoms gradually disappeared. She could walk and move properly again.
She was grateful for the help but didn’t want to have another healing session. She said that she was too afraid by the outcome. She was scared that it could reveal something that might move her out of her comfort zone again.