It took me a while to realise that I was an abandoned child.
I used to think that the word ‘abandonment’ referred to being a foster child or to someone who lived without a home, separated from biological parents.
And that wasn’t me. I had a home. I grew up with my parents.
I had shelter, food, cloths, education and all what I physically needed was provided.
It took me years of healing to realise that abandonment has more aspects.
I had a blind spot to see the truth…
That I was emotionally and mentally abandoned.
A child needs someone to be acknowledged by, to be listened to, to be heard and seen.
To be supported and guided, answers it’s questions, have a space to voice an opinion.
To be thought about needs. To be thought that it is OKAY to need and want.
To be initiated into setting boundaries.
To be shown what are the boundaries the child shall respect, but also be shown that the child can have boundaries and others shall respect that.
To be allowed to just BE, to feel accepted.
Emotional and mental abandonment doesn’t provide a room for the above.
Most of the times, my attempt to be myself was met with control, rejection and ignorance in various forms:
What do you think who you are? You have such a bad character…you are too young to have an opinion…it would have been better for everyone you would have stayed quite…be a good girl! Don’t feel, do not ask for your needs to be met…
As a result of that…
I felt SO alone. Just alone…like being totally alone on an island at the end of the word. Not even on this planet.
My safe heaven became learning, spiritual practices, yoga, meditation.
These practices helped me to heal out of the empath-narcissist dynamic of my family.
At that time I felt very alone with all that I experienced as a child. I thought it is only me who suffering through this treatment.
By now I know, that there are many others who had to go through the same.
Are you one of them?
In what form, in which way?
My journey lead me to self-healing, and later to support others to go through their own healing.
Since 2010. I have been running a program: Liberation from Family Dynamics, to heal childhood wounds and return to thriving in life.
Send me an email to learn more about this Program!